Making of Me

Abhimanyu Sharma
6 min readMay 1, 2022

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So through identification, you have pleasure and pain.

-Jiddu Krishnamurti

Photo by Nathan Fertig on Unsplash

The Beginning Of Identification

HOW OUR CHILDHOOD SHAPES OUR LIFE

Think about it, are you behaving and acting according to some rules? Are these rules defined by you, society, parents, or something internal? How do you conclude right or wrong?

People are behaving as they are from the start of their life. That’s why you don’t see them accepting their mistakes. The way they act and behave is the only right way they know.

We don’t question our actions; we only see the reaction and consequences.

A child starts learning in his mother’s womb, so his beliefs and ideas are always in him before he understands life. Our experiences in childhood either haunt us or make us stronger emotionally than before.

Beliefs make us experience the same thing repeatedly; they make us do things that we don’t want to do. You know the other person is hurt; still, you don’t do anything to make up for what you have done. Ego takes control, doesn’t let the intellect come into place, and evaluates the situation.

Most relationships fall because of ego. Sometimes the ego doesn’t want to fix things, so the mind has something to talk and think about. The ego fears the silent mind. The quiet mind asks questions and behaves rationally; that’s what the ego hates. If you know you have hurt another person and say sorry, the ego will die a million deaths every moment. That’s why our mind always stays busy, either resisting the situation or wanting it to be better, beyond our expectations.

Identification With Everything Around You

We are identified with country, caste, religion, politics, and everything we see. We are living beings, and a snake is a snake; you can’t make him an elephant or lion. If I call a lion a dog, you will laugh, right. So when someone introduces themselves with their religion or anything external to them, my reaction is the same. The external will fall one day. Nobody knows when but it will happen someday.

No doubt, in any language, your name is the most beautiful thing you want to hear. But that is also identification. What if your name was the same as that person you hate or are jealous of? Would you feel the same or create empathy or love for that person as you share the same name? We all have a soft spot for anyone who is similar or shares something in common.

The moment we are born, the identification starts first with the body and then with the mother and father. We identify with everything starting in life, and others see that as a skill we are learning; it’s not a skill that you are identified with the toys and parents or anything that is not you. Identification creates a barrier like beliefs. They make you see things in line with your thoughts, experience, and beliefs; anything differs from that we refuse to accept or take the time to alter our thoughts.

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Starting of The Break-Up

Look inside and identify what’s in your that you call yours. The mind tends to call everything his, identified from the food to the devices. Why does everyone want to buy an expensive device? The feeling of owning something expensive creates an inner reward and makes you feel powerful.

The easiest way to find identification is to wait for a conversation with another person or yourself. You should notice when your mind starts to defend its actions and begin to give excuses. There are an infinite number of reasons it can provide. Mind is also identified with excuses; that’s why we become so defensive when someone tries to create chaos in our mind and body.

Natural defense and identification are not at all bad. It has helped us survive; we would have been lunch of the predators if we had not developed these two qualities. We identify with our tribe family; that’s why we are inspired to take action for them and protect them from any potential danger. Noticing the identification is to break up from it. You don’t have to change anything about it; just notice the darkness, and it will be gone.

When death is at the door, every identification falls. Identification and ego only survive until you know there is something to lose. When you have nothing to lose or you know you can’t do anything to keep them with you, the identification falls.

We all are made to believe that we are identified by something external we owe, or we can call ours. Suppose you don’t have a good house, car or a phone. In that case, people judge you because of their identification with the beliefs of materialism.

Indeed technology is beneficial. I would be lost or have no clue how to approach my day if I didn’t have certain apps. Still, they don’t define me. It’s not like my life will stop if I lose my phone. There will be some sadness, and depending on your values, your sorrow will connect itself with finance or data on the phone. You learn what your core beliefs are and what you care more about.

Similarly, we can be identified with anything and everything around us. If you have worked very hard for the house or made it in your supervision the way you wanted it to be, then that is your identification. It’s not hard to recognize identification, but as soon as you identify, it falls like leaves from the trees in springs; their time is up.

The more you realize the identification, the more it falls away. Some people are fitness freaks; they are identified with their bodies, and identification is not bad, but what we make out of it is. You can be identified with everything around you and still be aware of it, and don’t let it work against you.

The answer is meditation; meditate when you are doing anything, and you will start to see things from a distance; how you are brushing your teeth, you will see yourself from a distance and can begin to notice what you are made of.

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A New Birth

When you don’t identify with the world, you have a morning where you connect with everything, yet they are very distant from your inner core. I had a glimpse of it when I could see my body as something external to what I am. I could be aware, and every touch or sense meant something different to me back then. Still, if I want to see and feel that feeling, it’s there, but not more often does it arise.

You realize you have a body when in pain, and make a promise to take care of it when healthy. Other times, you are so busy looking for happiness and success in something external. The moment this body feels pain, diseases, or a simple fever, all our superficial desires drops down, and our only concern is that this body should work fine again the way it was.

There will be a new birth when you realize that you are not your body or mind. You are something that is witnessing what is happening in and around you. If you fall from stairs, it’s the body that is hurt; indeed, the pain is there evident you don’t have to turn blind to the truth. Embrace the truth and see what you can do to fix it. If you can’t do anything, drop the idea to fix it and go to the deepest core of the pain where it is starting. The pain will not miraculously go away, but you will have a deeper and better understanding of your body. Witnessing helps you calm the ego and mind; it gives you understanding.

Use identification to your advantage. If you are identified with fitness, then you will be blessed with a healthy body, or with creativity then you will have a lot of ideas and the will to execute them.

Don’t be afraid of identification; choose one carefully where you want to excel and then move on to something else. Don’t be in one place for too long. Keep moving, and identification will break away, leaving you with something new.

Our identification with the mind and body is the chief reason for our failure to know ourselves as we truly are.

-Ramana Maharishi

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By @Abhimanyu Sharma

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